Disappointed
by ZachaRicO
Summary: "If there's one thing I know, it's this: you are not a disappointment. You have so much potential, so much life, so much to live for. How can you be a disappointment when you're striving to be the best you can be?" Advanceshipping, Rated T just to be safe


**This was kind of a rant on my part.**

* * *

May sat on a bench outside the contest hall, hugging her knees to her chest and burying her face in them. Her brown hair fell limp at her sides, lifeless. Beautifly and Skitty sat next to her, depressed expressions on their faces. Beautifly touched her trainer with a wing in an attempt to comfort her, but May merely brushed it away. Skitty twirled around in front of her, but got no response. They tried a few more times before the teenager looked up in irritation.

"Just stop it!" she snapped. "Stop it, both of you! Isn't it obvious I don't want to play right now?" They shrunk back, and she calmed down. "I'm sorry. I just...need some time alone. Why don't you go find Amy?" Beautifly and Skitty looked at each other sadly, shrugged, and ran off, leaving May alone.

_Disappointed._

She cringed on hearing that word replay through her mind and squeezed herself tighter, the urge to cry becoming ever stronger while her willpower grew ever weaker. She couldn't stand it: she just couldn't stand it.

"May?"

She cowered on hearing the voice. Normally, this would've been comforting, but after what happened when she left the contest hall, she didn't want to so much as look into the voice's eyes.

"May, it's me."

She couldn't see his face, but she knew it had to be laced with disappointment, just like it had been when she saw it last. Why wouldn't it? She had screwed up royally, after all, and she knew it. All she wanted to do now was disappear to somewhere where she could escape, leaving the pain behind and moving forward with her life.

"May, come on. I'm right here. You don't have to –"

"GO AWAY!" she suddenly screamed, glaring at the teenager. When she did, she expended the last bit of energy she had spent on fighting her tears. Now, with nothing holding them back, she broke down, burying her face in her knees while she sobbed, shame consuming her. The raven-haired teen was shocked by her sudden outburst, his eyes filled with compassion for his friend, and he slowly, somewhat tentatively, sat down next to her and pulled her into an awkward hug, hoping to comfort her. May was surprised, but she made no response, and merely continued to cry into her knees.

"It's okay," he whispered. "If you need some time alone, that's fine." He started to let her go. "I'll come back –"

She pulled him back. "Please don't," she cried. "Please. I –"

She choked on her words and just broke down sobbing again, leaning on his shoulder. He tried hard not to cry himself as he held her tightly, rubbing her back in an attempt to comfort her. As she cried, she wondered why he was comforting her now after giving her such a condemning glare back in the hall.

When they finally broke apart, May wiped away the last of her tears, sniffling a little. "What are you even doing here, Ash? I thought that...you…"

Ash raised an eyebrow, puzzled. "What? Did I...did I say something wrong?"

"The way you looked at me...after the contest, I...I thought you were really mad at me," May managed to explain through her sniffles.

Ash was confused. "What are you talking about?"

When I walked out of the appeals round, after that royal screw-up, and I saw you guys looking at me...you looked...looked…"

"What?"

May barely choked it out. "_Disappointed._" She broke down and began to weep again. Ash, eyes full of compassion, held her in a heartfelt embrace, hoping to comfort her but also puzzled.

"May," he whispered, "I wasn't even looking at you. I was looking at that jerk, Jaylen. He said some rotten stuff about you, and I didn't like it: not a bit." He drew back from her and looked into her eyes. She was calming down as she realized what he was saying. "I know you messed up, and so do you. I think you know what you need to do to fix what you did wrong, and I'll be right there to help you out."

She smiled for the first time since she left the contest hall. "Thank you, Ash." With that, they stood up together and embraced, holding each other close so that their hearts beat against the other person's chest.

When they parted, they looked at each other and smiled a moment, but then May's countenance fell again. Ash was confused. "What is it?"

"It's just…" she started, but then she stopped, her words getting caught in her throat as she sat down.

"May, if there's something you want to say, you don't have to be afraid to say it to me," he assured her as he sat down, putting a hand on her shoulder. "I won't hurt you."

She looked at him, expression unchanged. "It's not that I'm afraid to say it. It's just...painful to talk about."

"Painful, huh?" he said. "Well, then I won't force it out of you."

"No, no, it's fine," she assured him. "Honestly, I think it would be good if I told you."

He looked at her somewhat uncertainly. "Okay, then. If you feel that way…"

She nodded and began:

**Six years earlier**

It happened when we came back to Petalburg City for your rematch with my dad. It had been a long time since Max and I had been home, so we were both happy about that. Mom and Dad were happy to see us, too. Everything felt fine.

But the night after your gym battle, when we were going to set out the next day for the next town, I woke up thirsty in the middle of the night, so I came downstairs to get a drink of water. To my surprise, I heard my parents talking in the living room, and it sounded serious. Curious, I decided to eavesdrop a little, but not a day has gone by where I regret hearing what I did:

"Norman," Mom said, "please be reasonable."

"Reasonable?" Dad snapped back. "I thought this was the plan."

"It was," she nodded, "but plans can change."

"That doesn't mean they're meant to."

"Norman, have you seen your daughter?" Mom asked incredulously. "Haven't you noticed? I haven't seen her so happy in almost ten years!"

"All I've noticed is that she's made a disappointing choice."

"Norman –!"

"Don't be that way, Caroline," he snapped. "You said yourself that this new, coordinating thing was stupid."

"Yes, I did," she snapped back. "But if that's what May wants to do with her life, who are we to judge her? We're supposed to support her, Norman, even though the path she chooses isn't what we would have wanted for her."

"No, Caroline," Dad growled. "We raised her better than this. Can we really settle for less than what we raised her for? She's been preparing herself for this her whole life!"

"No, Norman. _You've_ been preparing her for this her whole life."

Dad had heard enough. He stood up and walked out, but he left one more thought before leaving:

"I'm disappointed in you, Caroline. I'm disappointed in _both_ of you."

Those words cut me to the heart. I completely forgot why I'd gotten up in the first place and, without another word, rushed out of the house in a different direction and went straight to the backyard, head in my hands, sobbing in shame.

* * *

"Your dad did that to you?!" Ash exclaimed in shock. "That's...that's horrible!"

"Yes, it is," May nodded. "My shame quickly gave way to anger and determination to prove him wrong in my next contest. A few weeks later, after I'd caught Bulbasaur, I decided to enter her in my next contest, fully determined to take that ribbon and throw it in his face, if just to spite him."

Ash's eyebrows went up. "That was when you lost –"

"Yes," she nodded. "You even said yourself that entering Bulbasaur was a bad idea, but when you said that, I didn't hear my friend Ash who cared for me and wanted to help me be the best I could be." She sighed. "I only heard my father telling me that I was a failure, a disgrace, a..._disappointment._" She choked on that. "When I lost, I felt so humiliated that I didn't want to see anyone. I thought that this was the nail in the coffin about what my father said. I couldn't bear it. A thousand voices in my head told me that he was right, that I was a failure, that I was no good. I thought for certain that everyone who had cheered me on was angry at me, and I just couldn't stand it.

"Then you came to me, alone, and I was worried that you would lacerate me with harsh words that confirmed what I felt at the moment. But when you spoke kindly, encouraging me to not give up and to keep holding on, I realized that even though the whole world might look down on me, might kick me when I'm bleeding on the ground, spit on me, and do its worst, you would always be there to defend me, pick me back up, bind my wounds, and hold me." Tears formed in her eyes as she finished her story. "You really are the best friend anyone could ask for, Ash."

A warm smile spread on his face. He slowly stood up and held his hand out to her. She feathered her hand into his and stood up. Then he closed his arms around her in a warm embrace, which she returned, sighing in contentment. Once again, their hearts beat against each other, following their own rhythm yet somehow being in sync.

"That's a really heartbreaking story, you know that?" he whispered. "I never knew you suffered like that. But if there's one thing I do know, one thing I've known as long as I've known you, it's this: you are _not_ a disappointment. You've proven so many times that you have so much potential, so much life, so much to live for. How can you be a disappointment when you're striving to be the best you can be? No, May. I couldn't be disappointed in you no matter how hard I tried. You've grown so much in the years I've known you: in skill, in joy, and in beauty. I'm so proud of you, I could burst."

She pulled away just enough to gaze deep into his eyes, which had taken on an auburn hue. "Do you think I'll do great things one day?"

He shook his head. "No, May. You've already done great things. With time and practice, you'll only get better."

Her smile widened as she pulled him back in. "Will you be there with me? Will you help me be the best I can be?"

"Like no one ever was."

She giggled. "Will you be there to pick me up when I fall down?"

He drew back slightly, gazing into her sapphire eyes as he rested his forehead against hers. "Always."


End file.
